wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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