Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
