I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Randomize
