they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
