My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize