What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
