absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
