Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
