last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
