After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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