She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
