This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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