We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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