his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
