I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
