I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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