I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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