Ambien. No doubt about it.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize