He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
