So drunk its hurt
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
