god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
