okay pat passed out under dana's car
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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