he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
