put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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