After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
