Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Randomize
