love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
