I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize