Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
