dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
