I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
