worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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