Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize