That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
