Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
is it fun? or sober?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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