she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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