he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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