I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
