There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
