i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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