I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
