I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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