she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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