I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
