he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
