How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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