My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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