i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
