wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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