I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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