He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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