and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
