I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
