I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
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