He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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