that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize