At least make sure they are 18
Why
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
