do herpes really smell.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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