i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize