Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
