meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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