i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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