Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
