This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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