when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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