Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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