Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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