let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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