so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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