your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
