I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
