we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize
