and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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