Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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