i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
