garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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