It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
