A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize