so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
