After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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