I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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