some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
