So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
